There aren’t many things in the creative realm that I haven’t had a stab at. Stab after lunging, awkward stab, I killed dream after dream. No sooner had I announced a new project with bunting and fanfares than my head was being turned by a sultry new pursuit, winking at my hopeless infidelity as I wrestled to control my urgings. A reputation was soon established and I became wary of introducing my next new love, anticipating eye rolls and weary sighs of ‘Another? How long will this one last?’
But far from being carefree in my apparent fickleness, it really bothered me that I could never see anything through to what I considered to be a reasonable conclusion. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to stick at things, I’d just realise at some juncture that I wanted to do something different, like a dial in my brain had been tuned to a new frequency. I’d berate myself for it, and for inevitably spending a large sum of money on a hobby or pursuit that suddenly and inexplicably had all the appeal of last week’s leftovers. Why couldn’t I find my life’s true passion? What was wrong with me?
The answer came recently, and it was something of a revelation. A friend had suggested that I was a polymath, which I found faintly ridiculous, but I wanted to read more about polymathy in case there was a kernel of truth in it. As I searched, I came across the term ‘Scanner’, which was being used in a similar context. The term was coined by an American author called Barbara Sher, who had identified it as a distinct personality type. Her definition of a Scanner is as follows:
- You have creative ideas all the time
- You have an insatiable appetite for learning about new subjects and ideas
- You have lots of seemingly unrelated interests
- Trying to choose between all your ideas, interests and projects stresses you out
- You start lots of projects but don’t always finish them before you get into something else
I felt like a clairvoyant’s patsy, nodding furiously, mouth agape. Either it was true or somebody had been rifling through my dustbin. Sceptical but intrigued, I read more about the Scanner personality type. The more I read, the more I realised that I was one of them, and I was far from alone. It was stressed that people of this type weren’t defective, lazy or lacking commitment, it was just the way their brains worked. Scanners have so many interests and such impatience to acquire new skills that they simply can’t choose one thing to focus on forever more – it’s anathema to their curiosity.
This, of course, will sound like a cop out to most people. I thought so myself at first, like I was letting myself off the hook too easily. But the truth is that the majority of people are more likely to identify with a Specialist personality type – that is, someone who finds an interest or passion and commits to it without seriously considering anything else, even if they have other hobbies. And that’s necessary, of course, if you’re going to become truly great at something. Society guides us towards the benefits of choosing a career and sticking with it, being successful in your chosen field and reaping the rewards. The question ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ is asked of us as children, and we’re not expected to reel off a list.
That’s fine for most people; they’re happy to find something they enjoy or excel at and accept that it’s their path in life. But I don’t believe that the Scanner personality is an excuse, I just think it’s something most people aren’t aware of. If I’ve only just figured it out myself, why would anyone else? It’s about understanding that we’re not all the same. Children who have ADHD aren’t naughty for the sake of it. People with dyslexia aren’t stupid. Those with autism aren’t deliberately rude. Some brains just work in a different way to what the consensus declares normal. I don’t frequently change my creative interests because I lack commitment – in fact, I’ve demonstrated great commitment in other areas of my life. I just have too many interests to throw in my lot with any single one of them. My only problem has been in trying to conform to a Specialist personality type when I’m the opposite. I’ve only just realised that all the frustration and guilt I felt at being unable to do so was unnecessary because it wasn’t my fault.
So I’m still new to this Scanner thing (I don’t much care for the term ‘Scanner’ by the way – it makes me think of the David Cronenberg film where that guy’s head explodes), but one of the points that is continually made is that Scanners must embrace and not resist their tendencies. The only way for a Scanner to be content is to cast aside the notion of finding their life’s passion and be happy to dip and dabble into whatever takes their fancy. Then, without guilt, leave it behind when a more appealing proposition comes along.
And so I begin this blog, with the promise of nothing more than an account of whatever I feel like doing at the time. It might be useful, it might be frivolous. The projects I undertake from this point forward might last a month, they might last a day. Hopefully by now you'll appreciate that the only thing I'm able to commit to is my desire to experiment, learn, and share the results.
